We only find how fragile we really are inside, when we are encountered by the reality of our ability to see, how easily we can be broken.
I rarely ever open up to people, and when I do for some reason I spill my guts all over the floor. I make such a mess of myself that I dont even bother to clean it up and grovel and squirm in my own pool of thoughts, feelings, emotions and expectations.
Then again, when does one find someone who fits them so perfectly, that you would drop everything, drop everything and just run away with them. Where every embrace takes all the whirlwinds of your life, takes every longing, takes everything you wanted, and makes your world feel totally clear again.
Like sunshine peering through leaves after a storm and your walking head high again, BUT for some reason, I take that as a negative and a positive. I Long for those moments, but these are the moments that define how deep we fall for that someone, and how much deeper we fall when it is no longer there.
Though I have been hurt many times before. I never let that deflect me from allowing someone to enter again. Not when they are beautiful. The kind of beauty that makes you wonder where they have been your whole life, and when they openly admit the same tinkering in their minds, you just fly head over heels!
I guess this is my way of saying I have met someone that I know will never leave my mind, and possibly my heart (however cold and black it is lol)
I want them to know that no matter how far they may be from me, and how long it is from the last time we spoke, they will be remembered and missed entirely!
p.s. There will always be variables that will try to obstruct and prevent any and all possibilty for furtherting any kind of a friendship or relationship. Those are the times where you have to decide who is being most truthful, honest and caring of the person who most matters in your life, which is YOU!
